The Aberrant Family
by Tocka e
Summary: Naruto wants to kill himself. Kakashi has regrets. Iruka swears and has overprotective tendencies. Hayate feels guilt for falling into a coma before warning about the invasion. They're going to be family. An Aberrant one true, but a family none the less.


**AN: This is an idea which came to me while I was traveling eith my family in Scotland in July, where my imagination had run wild when we had been driving for over seven hours without stopping for anything other than restromm-breaks. Not to say that that is unusual while we're on vacation, because it isn't. **

**So anyway I just suddenly felt like I wanted to write a fic where Naruto wanted to kill himself, thus making me write that part. After that I suddenly wondered just what would happen if Kakashi found out about it, or perhaps Iruka, or maybe... you get the picture. And this is what it resulted in.**

**It's going to be some sort of family fic, where the main family is made up of Naruto, Kakashi, Iruka and Hayate, and just how this weird-ass family is going to work out, especially with Naruto wanting to kill himself and all... The only reason that only Naruto and Kakashi show up as characters when you browse fics, is because their parts are the first ones in this chapter. Plus more people read Naruto and Kakashi fics than Iruka and Hayate ones... -.-'  
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**Well, I hope you like it... I had a fun time writing it at least... Which is quite creepy if you think about it... Nevermind...**

"Talking"

'_Thinking_'

**"Summon/Demon talking"**

**'_Summon/Demon thinking_'  
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**oOoOo**

Naruto sighed.

He was tired. Tired of constantly being sneered at, spitted on, overprized in stores (if not banned completely) and quite basically being the person everyone loved to hate.

He was tired of fighting.

He was tired of living.

So when he lost, once again failing at something important, he just couldn't take it anymore.

When Sasuke left, he broke.

Sasuke, his teammate, first friend and the only one before Gaara, that he had felt had been just like him. Both were orphans and both were treated differently from everyone else, by everyone else. One loved and one hated both just as lonely.

Sitting on the edge of the Hokage-mountain, atop of the Fourth's head, Naruto gazed over the place he once called home. His home, his birthplace and the best village in the entire world.

Now all he could see was Konoha.

The unjust Konoha, the hypocritical Konoha and the Konoha that was his prison.

Because in the end, that was what it basically was for him. A prison. _His_ prison.

Because as a jinchuuriki, you're a weapon.

A property, not a human being with a soul and feelings, of the village you were born in.

So even though he hadn't turned into a killing machine or one of Danzou's drones, he was still owned by Konoha. And Konoha wouldn't just let him leave.

No, if he had been the one who left, instead of Sasuke, he wouldn't have gotten a retrieval team consisted of a newly promoted chunin and some genin.

He would have gotten hunters. _Oinins_.

Hunters who would have slaughtered him, torn his limbs from his body and bloodied him crimson.

Hunters, who would have chopped of his head, burnt the rest and stuck the blonde and red head on a pole in the middle of the village square. All for the villagers to see.

And the town would rejoice, the very same way they did after the Fourth had sealed the Kyuubi and every year that followed.

Though this time around, that much happier, since no one had died by the _demon's_ hands. Konoha hadn't perished and it most certainly didn't stand in flames, there was only one thirteen year old dead kid.

One no one would grieve over.

So here he was, sitting on what might as well could have been the edge of the world, since either way, he would fall.

And this time, he would die.

He had been destined to die at the Valley of the End, a most fitting grave for him, but the bloody fox had gotten in the way.

This time Naruto wouldn't let him.

He had snatched a chakra suppressor, a _kyuubi_ chakra suppressor, from the pervert. And if the fox couldn't use its chakra, then it wouldn't be able to save either Naruto or itself.

So the blonde jinchuuriki put the paper-tag onto his forehead and got ready to fall.

Finally, he'd be free.

**OOoOo**

Kakashi ran.

Long steps over rooftops filled with footmarks, through Konoha. Sweat pouring down his masked face, just as much from the physical stress on his body, as from the fear.

The fear of failing. Again.

The fear of losing a student. Again.

The fear of an important person to him dying.

Again.

He widened his steps.

When Sasuke had defected he had been sad. Not devastated, but rather disappointed, in both Sasuke and himself.

He had thought Sasuke had been just like he had been himself when he was younger. Power-hungry, unemotional and having that belief that the mission always comes before your comrades. And just like he himself had changed after Obito's death and sacrifice, Kakashi had thought Sasuke had changed as well after what happened in Wave.

He had obviously overestimated him.

But Kakashi could live with that. It was manageable and had, in the end, been unpreventable.

So yes, he could live with that.

But he couldn't live with this.

No way.

There was no chance what so ever that he would be able to live with himself if Naruto committed suicide.

If Naruto's hair, was stained red.

If that sunny blonde hair, was stained red.

If his sensei's hair, was, once again, stained red.

Kakashi cried.

Salty tears mixing with salty sweat.

Naruto, his sensei's only son and legacy, was killing himself and it was his fault. Not entirely, but still much blame could be put on Kakashi.

Because he had seen how people had treated him, but he hadn't done anything about it. Hell, he hadn't even met the kid face to face before he had got stuck as his sensei.

Before the Third finally had gotten fed up and intervened.

But even then, Kakashi hadn't done as he should have.

He hadn't been a good sensei to Naruto, because Kakashi never taught him anything.

He hadn't been a good friend to Naruto, because they never talked.

Fuck, he hadn't even been a mere acquaintance to Naruto, because he, Sharingan no Kakashi, always ran away.

Because Naruto tore up wounds, just by existing.

Memories of things that had been. Things that were no more.

And he just couldn't deal with it.

But _this_, this was much worse, so much worse.

Things could have been different if Kakashi had faced his demon earlier. Instead of having to realize just how important Naruto really was to him, by reading his suicide not.

Naruto's suicide note.

If Kakashi had showed Naruto how he cared, that he wasn't alone and so, _so_ much more, maybe things would have been different.

Maybe that sunny-haired kid would have been happy.

Maybe he wouldn't have been trying to kill himself.

But Kakashi hadn't, so this was his fault.

If that golden ball of sunshine died, he was to blame.

His sensei would turn in his grave six feet under if he knew. If he knew that the one person he had asked to protect, as well as care for, what Minato himself had been forced to leave behind, hadn't done so.

Dear god Kakashi hoped he wasn't too late.

**oOoOo**

Iruka swore.

Loud ungodly obscenities that rung through the academy hallways.

To say that people were both a little shocked, as well as a tad surprised, would have been a massive understatement.

But it was true, Iruka had sworn.

And proof came when he did it again.

Big time.

The scar faced man proceeded with dropping everything in his hands, before taking off through an open window, papers flying about in his wake.

His destination was the Hokage-monument.

Because if what he just had come to know held any shred of truth what so ever, he had to get there.

Fast.

Because if Naruto, his baby brother in all but blood, was planning on killing himself, that would be the place. Since to the blonde, that place was home so much more than that small, crappy apartment he lived in.

Iruka swore again.

He had had his suspicions for a while, that everything weren't as it should have been.

Naruto didn't _smile_.

Not when Iruka had visited him in the hospital and not when they had met after Naruto had been discharged.

No Naruto hadn't smiled at all.

Not a single fucking time since that raven-haired bastard had left.

And drove a bloody chidori through his brother's chest as he had done so.

_Sasuke_.

Iruka's blood boiled just by thinking the name.

That motherfucking cocksucking shitfaced asshole had tried to kill his family. But while he had failed to do so, the dickhead hadn't failed in destroying the golden-haired teen's spirit.

Because Naruto was broken.

So utterly pathetically broken.

And now he was going to kill himself.

Dear lord above his brother was going to kill himself.

Iruka had sent a clone over to Naruto's apartment, meaning to ask him to come and have lunch at Ichiraku's with him during his break. But when the clone had gotten there, the whole place had been locked up. The curtains were drawn, blocking any form of insight, and the front door was closed and wouldn't move an inch if Iruka didn't take out his key and unlock it.

You could say what you want about the apartment itself, but that is one hell of a door.

The clone had simply knocked and rung the bell, not wanting to use his key and take away the little piece of privacy his little brother had if he could help it.

That it had done for the next five minutes, wanting to make sure he didn't walk in on anything when he finally opened up the door using that spare key he had gotten some moths back.

Walking in to Naruto's living space, the first thing the clone noted was just how dark the place was. Not a single light on in the entire apartment and all windows hidden behind curtains, thus forcing the clone to use the switch just on the right side of the doorframe.

It was when the sad light bulb in the roof had begun glowing, that Iruka's clone noticed it.

The note that lay deceitfully on the kitchen table, completely out of place since Iruka knew that Naruto kept all of his bills and homework on the desk in his bedroom.

So the clone walked forward briskly and picked it up and read.

And he read. And as he read, his brown eyes widened at that which was written on that otherwise insipid piece of pressed paper mass.

It was a suicide not.

_Naruto's_ suicide note.

The clone let go of the paper and dropped to his knees.

Then he screamed. An animalistic wail that spoke of numbing pain and devastation.

Then it dispelled, disappeared in to nothing but grey smoke just barely noticing that grey-haired individual who arrived at the scene.

So Iruka ran, hoping time was on his side, while he swore some more.

**oOoOo**

Hayate coughed.

He was walking up a trail inside the forest surrounding the Hokage-mountain, and was for the moment quite pleased with himself for getting the idea of coming here.

He was a prisoner on the run, having escaped his white confinements and all the tubes, tests, machines, nagging nurses and crappy food that being hospitalized meant you had to endure.

Why the sick people always got the worst food, he couldn't say, even with all his previous experiences with it, but he sure as hell wasn't going to take it lying down, so to speak.

Thus, he had escaped.

At first he had taken a simple stroll through the village, but after almost getting caught exiting the ramen stand, his first decent meal in over a month mind you, he had decided that populated areas really wasn't his cup of tea at the moment. No, seeing angry nurses running around the main streets with murder in their eyes searching for someone was about as bad as it could get if you were the unfortunate one they were looking for, which he in this case, unfortunately was.

So yes, the decision to walk along the animal made trail had been a most splendid idea.

Hayate coughed yet again.

Now if he hadn't been chronically sick, it just might have been a tiny bit better.

But for one time's sake, his illness hadn't been the cause of his most recent unwelcome deployment to the sterile whiteness he was so unluckily used to. No this time the blame was on what now only was a huge scar stretching cross his entire torso.

Raising his arm up, he followed its outlines with the digits on his calloused hand through his thin shirt.

It had been a close call, the closest he had gotten to death in a long time.

Actually the only reason he still walked this planet was because of that blonde kid.

Hayate laughed a little, although it sounded more like one was rasping one resisting piece of hard wood.

Apparently the boy had been outside meaning to take a leak, his water being shut off or something, and had stumbled upon his badly bleeding body. So holding his bladder, the kid had picked his injured body up and ran at full speed to the hospital. Finally there, Hayate's life had been saved but he had been left I a coma till after the invasion was over.

That stung.

Badly.

The knowledge that if he had woken up sooner he could have warned his village about the imminent threat and so many lives could have been saved.

A death list including the Third Hokage, could have been reduced.

So yeah, that knowledge hurt. So if he had been acting kind of depressed lately, that wasn't so strange now, was it?

Hayate's brown eyes narrowed, a frustrated expression showing on his face.

A week ago the subject of his state of mind had been brought up for discussion when Yuugao, his girlfriend since his genin days, had visited him in the hospital. Well, _ex-_girlfriend was the term nowadays, to be precise, if what they had said to each other the last time they met held any sense of value in it.

It felt kind of weird, now that he really thought about it, not being in a relationship, that is. Guess he'd just have to get used to it, since he was not so keen on meeting Yuugao anytime soon.

Anyway, she had told him to pick himself up and get on with his life, that none of what had happened had been his fault and… well you get the picture.

And he got all that, really.

With his brain at least. His heart and soul on the other hand, didn't. And on some level, he felt, even with his brain and mind, that he _should_ feel guilty about the whole matter. Since if he had woken up sooner, hundreds would have been saved.

Clenching his fists hard, making his knuckles shine white in the lush forest, his before relaxed stride, got an unmistakable edge to it. All the accumulated frustration, regret and hate molding together into burning balls of fire in his stomach and throat. Making him want to scream, cry and disappear all at the same time. Making him curse and rage inside his head while letting no sound past the barrier which was his lips.

All to engrossed in his own feelings, he didn't notice as the brown dirt floor of the forest was exchanged with the grey hardness of the rock on the Hokage-mountain. He didn't notice the wind suddenly blowing viciously on his face nor did he notice the smell of tears, pain and loneliness.

But he noticed the screams. Heard them loud and clear.

So, fast as only a ninja can be, Hayate whipped his head up and stopped dead in his tracks.

**oOoOo**

**AN: Sooo... Whatcha think? It would be nice if you left a little review... *Puppy-eyes***

**CC says goodnight, it's six in the morning in Sweden and she better get to bed before she has to wake up...  
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